When my cousin Priya was seven months pregnant, she showed up to a Halloween party in a store-bought “sexy witch” costume with a zipper that lasted about eleven minutes. She spent the rest of the night wrapped in her husband’s flannel, eating cheese cubes, and telling everyone she’d be back in a real costume next…
My grandmother Ruth was 67 the year she agreed to dress up for my cousin’s Halloween party. The costume in the package had a zipper up the back, a stiff plastic hat, and an eye mask she couldn’t see through. She stood in the hallway holding it and said, “Who is this made for?” She…
My mom, Carol, turned 56 the October she wore a mesh-sleeved “sexy nurse” costume to a neighborhood party because it was the only adult option left at the drugstore. She spent the evening tugging at the hem and left an hour early with sore feet. Watching that, I decided Halloween costume ideas for women over…
Three Octobers ago I ordered a “one size fits most” witch dress for my cousin Renee, who wears a 2X. It arrived in a bag the size of a paperback, the seams were already stressed at the hips, and the “sleeves” were basically tubes for a child. She wore her leather jacket over it, stood…
Last October, my roommate Dominique spent $64 on a “sexy witch” costume that arrived in a bag the size of a sandwich. The fabric was see-through under a phone flashlight, the wig was a color that exists nowhere in nature, and none of it worked with her skin tone. She wore her denim jacket over…
Two Octobers ago, my best friend Camille and I decided to go as “something cute” for a party and spent forty-five minutes texting each other screenshots of costumes we didn’t actually want. By the time we agreed on anything, every wig we liked had a two-week shipping window and the only matching set left in…
I used to dread costume shopping because so many “one size fits most” costume-shop wigs and makeup shade ranges clearly weren’t designed with a lot of us in mind, and I got tired of walking out with a great outfit and a wig that looked nothing like it did on the package. A few years…
Every single year at the same office party, at least two people show up as the same Disney princess in the exact same costume-shop dress, and by hour two it’s less “cute costume” and more “who wore it better” energy nobody actually wanted. After watching that happen three Halloweens in a row, I started digging…
My freshman year Halloween, I bought a costume-shop set the week before because I panicked, and I spent the entire party tugging the hem down and readjusting a strap that wouldn’t stay put. It wasn’t that the costume looked bad — it just wasn’t built for an actual night of dancing, and I learned pretty…
The year the Barbie movie came out, I watched three different women show up to the same party in the exact same hot-pink cowgirl outfit, and by the end of the night it had turned into an unintentional bit rather than a costume. That’s the thing about Barbie Halloween costumes now — pink and blonde…